Unfortunately, divorce is commonplace in today’s society. The ending of any serious relationship can be challenging to overcome, but divorce is fraught with even more tough issues.
You might find yourself moving on a little too quickly without taking the necessary time to pull yourself together. Or you may languish in a state of misery far too long.
No one ever taught us how to deal with divorce. It’s a confusing situation that requires tact and gentleness in dealing with yourself! But like many other challenging situations, divorce provides a lot of opportunities, too.
These steps will help you heal from divorce:
1. Spend time with people that care about you and support you. We all have friends and family that are highly supportive and caring. We also have friends and family that believe in “tough love.” Seek out what you need and avoid the other. Now is the time to enjoy the company of those that will actually help you.
2. Seek to understand what went wrong in the relationship. Whenever we achieve undesirable results, there’s the opportunity to learn something. Was he simply the wrong type of man? Was she too jealous? Did you spend too much time at work? Did you fail to make enough of an effort to get along with her family?
- Learn everything you can from your relationship and vow not to repeat your mistakes. Imagine how easy life would be if you never made the same mistake twice.
3. Forgive everyone involved. That means forgiving your ex and yourself. You both did the best you could under the circumstances. Now you can learn and move on. In the end, it might have been the best outcome for everyone involved.
4. Take time for you. Now is the perfect opportunity to get in shape, go back to school, make new friends, or take up a new hobby.
- You can recreate yourself and forge a new life that fills you with joy and enthusiasm. There are few other times in your life that will provide a similar opportunity.
5. Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Reduce your workload and avoid people and situations that drain you. Eat well and get some exercise. A massage wouldn’t be a bad idea, either.
6. Pay attention to your finances. Divorce and economic challenges frequently go hand in hand. Get some expert assistance if you need it, but avoid ignoring the financial implications of your divorce.
7. Consider seeking outside support. Sometimes we need to talk to someone that’s less familiar to us than our friends and family.
- Make some new friends or join a support group. You might even want to join a religious or spiritual group. There are also online communities that provide an anonymous way to purge your emotions.
- Seek out professional help if you feel that you’re struggling.
8. Re-enter the dating world slowly. Most people need at least a year or two after ending a long-term relationship before starting another one. Entering a serious relationship too soon frequently results in heartache for everyone involved. Give yourself some time before dating again and move forward slowly.
9. Hang in there. There are bound to be good days and bad days. Things will get easier over time. Tomorrow is another day with new opportunities. It will be easier if you expect to have a few bumps along the way.
Divorce is challenging, but it also provides an excellent opportunity to take your life in a new direction. Take all the time you need to heal and forgive before you move on. But avoid taking longer than necessary. Life is short, and it’s important to live it fully.